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Mary Griggs

~ The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.

Mary Griggs

Monthly Archives: November 2011

221

20 Sunday Nov 2011

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Mary Griggs, Rant, Transgender

(c) by Mary Griggs

This year, two hundred and twenty one people paid the ultimate price for being themselves. That isn’t just a number–those were 221 human beings who were targeted and murdered in 2011 because of their gender identity or gender expression. Two hundred and twenty one lights have gone out and their passing has left the world a darker place.

Most people have a gender identity of man or woman that is consistent with the sex they were assigned at birth. Some people, however, feel their assigned sex at birth is not consistent with their own gender identity. Still others express their gender in a way that does not conform to traditional gender stereotypes of what men or women should look like or how they should act.

Sex and gender are social constructions that have evolved over the course of human history and vary culturally. Despite the radical changes to sex/gender roles in the last century, the concept of a gender binary (that there are two sexes which correspond with two genders which were immutably set in stone prior to birth) unfortunately endures.

It is beyond tragic that there are people so invested in a gender binary that the mere thought of anyone not conforming is so abhorrent they feel justified in eradicating the transgressors. Losing anyone to hate and prejudice diminishes us all and the failure to solve so many of these crimes and convict the perpetrators is a reprehensible failure of our society as a whole.

It is heartbreaking that suicide is still a leading cause of death for many transgender and gender variant people. Discrimination on the job, at school or when attempting to use public restrooms are burdens that no one should be forced to endure. Compounded with harassment, insults and threats when someone is just trying to be themselves and it can become too much to bear.

To achieve equality we must do more than commemorate the dead. We must honor the living and their right to live their lives without the fear of prejudice.

Being an ally means more than remembering to include transgender with the rest of the alphabet soup that is the LGBTQ community. It is respecting other people’s self-identification without comment about their ability to pass or inquiry into the state of their genitalia. It is remembering their name and using the proper pronoun. It is recognizing the privilege inherent to having a legally recognized, socially approved, medically assigned gender and the oppression faced by those who do not.

This week, I helped organize a series of events at the LGBT Community Center of New Orleans for Trans Awareness Week. I worked with the fabulous members of several local organizations including Forum For Equality, PFLAG-New Orleans, Louisiana ACLU, the Jim Collins Foundation, Health Law Advocates of Louisiana, HRC New Orleans, and the Louisiana Trans Advocates. We were privileged to be joined by allies from the medical community at Tulane, Ochsner, and the Veterans Administration.

Over the course of the week, we had a film screening, discussions about raising trans kids and civil rights as well as sharing information on advocacy, medical care and health insurance. This weekend, we gathered together to paint our stories of survival and to remember those who lost their lives to gender related violence.

I hope these events play some small part in raising public awareness of issues facing transgender people in addition to providing timely information to the transgender community. Above all, I hope we made clear that transgender individuals deserve equal protection under the law.

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Veteran’s Day 2011

11 Friday Nov 2011

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Family, Mary Griggs

(c) by Mary Griggs

I’ve been watching Vietnam in HD on the History Channel (http://www.history.com/shows/vietnam-in-hd). It is powerful stuff and I recommend it for anyone who wants to improve their understanding of the conflict.

I am so very grateful that my Dad made it back from there in one piece. He went over when I was six months old, in the fall of 1968 and was awarded a Bronze Star and Silver Star for (in his words) staying alive when his guys didn’t.

JEG III with captured NVA arms

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Addressing Bullying In Louisiana

02 Wednesday Nov 2011

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Anti-Bully, Louisiana, Mary Griggs, Rant

(c) by Mary Griggs

Tragic news came out of the Lake Charles area with the report that bullying may be a contributing factor to teenager Hannah Pauley’s recent suicide. Her father, Len Pauley, stated: “Honestly I don’t believe I would want any child to be charged with anything…If those kids can just step up to the plate and admit that they were wrong, make a positive out of this–then absolutely not–because they have to live with this for the rest of their lives now.”

Stopping bullying from happening and appropriately responding to it when it happens is critical to the academic success and overall safety of our students. It is up to all of us — the students, the teachers, the administrators, concerned citizens, the school board and our state legislators — to do all we can to promote the health, safety and overall well being of our young people. We must create school climates that welcomes, accepts and supports all people for who they are, no matter what.

Many who are bullied are targeted because of their perceived sexual orientation or because they do not conform to someone’s expectations about gender. Too often, when such children are bullied in school, officials fail to protect them. While not every person who has been bullied thinks about or attempts suicide, persistent bullying can lead to or worsen feelings of isolation, rejection, exclusion and despair, as well as to depression and anxiety, which can contribute to suicidal behavior.

Help is available. There are national suicide prevention lines like the Trevor Project (866-488-7386). Families can get support in becoming more accepting through local PFLAG chapters. Currently, there are Louisiana chapters in New Orleans, Baton Rouge, Shreveport and Lafayette. There are also locally made videos on It Gets Better where young people can see that they are not alone and that supportive adults are out there.

Would you like a good way to teach someone about the devastating impact of bullying? A teacher in the New York area has come up with a good way to teach about the harmful effects of bullying to her class. She had the children take a clean piece of paper and told them to crumple it up, stomp on it, mess it up, just don’t rip it. Then she had them unfold the paper, smooth it out and look at how marred and dirty it now was. She then told them to tell it they’re sorry.

Even though they said they were sorry and tried to fix the paper, there were many marks that were left behind. She told them that is what happens when a child bullies another child. They may say they’re sorry but the scars are there forever.

Bullying prevention is our responsibility! We can change people’s hearts and minds by sharing our stories of how bullying hurts. More than that, we need to address institutions and laws. While Louisiana’s existing statutes require school districts to enact and implement policies to protect students from bullying, it does not comprehensively address the issue. In study after study, it has been found that students at schools with a comprehensive anti-bullying policies report bullying and harassment at a significantly reduced rate.

Together, we can ensure that no other family or community has to suffer a loss like this. The Forum For Equality and a coalition of educators, disability rights and LGBT equality organizations will be proposing Safe Schools legislation in the upcoming 2012 session.

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